I am curious whether he would have dared try it with Valentinian I.

Now that The Last Roman is behind you, I think your next project should be a “fantasy football” game set in late antiquity.

Or maybe you can do it in claymation, like MTV’s old “Celebrity Death Match.”

It could be an entertaining party game – who would you have playing for the fathers and who for the emperors? Either way, I think Jerome should be the commentator… Virgil would be too long-winded.

I’ll give some thought to the lineup. Jerome would certainly be good for, uh, color commentary (“O thou effeminate sailor!”). The problem is in the scoring. If the Fathers die, they win; but if the emperors die, they lose. I’m already imagining millions in merchandise — a Valerian plush toy, a Polycarp cigarette lighter…

An Augustine fruit basket?

Ha! That would be useful.