Mike Aquilina

Which Byzantine Ruler Are You?

Saturday July 21st 2007, 3:01 am

Following upon the success of our psychometric test “Which Church Father Are You?” … we offer a follow-up, for those who are more ambitious in worldly terms. Take your place, for at least a moment, as emperor or empress in Constantinople. Hey, if you last that brief, shining moment, it’ll be longer than some actual emperors ruled. For each question, choose ONE answer that best describes your position.

You’re willing to share power with …
a. a weak but pious spouse and scheming eunuchs.
b. the code of law
c. people who despise the saints’ relics.
d. your infant son
e. share? You like images…
a. of yourself
b. well done, over an open fire
c. front and center, in church
d. simple, like a cross in the sky
e. to be legal, meaning Christian, not pagan

Your motto:
a. live and let live.
b. copros happens.
c. when I want your opinion, I’ll legislate it.
d. I think icon, I think icon
e. don’t I look good in silver?

What do you think of John Chyrsostom?:
a. Nice guy. Just don’t show me his image..
b. o %*#$@os @$%^& *&$%!@ !!!.
c. He’s not born yet.
d. He was the victim of confusing laws.
e. He looks great on the iconostasis.

When life presents insuperable problems, you…
a. consult the law
b. go shopping for makeup and clothing.
c. pray before an icon.
d. destroy an icon.
e. have a vision and hear a voice.

Your theme song:
a. You’re So Vain
b. You Oughta Be in Pictures
c. Live and Let Die.
d. I Brought the Law, and the Law Won.
e. I Put Your Picture Away.